Being online makes it easy for people to lie and pretend to be someone else. Some people use social media to make contact with children and young people with the intention of “grooming” them. To groom someone is to prepare someone to do something sexual for the benefit of the person making contact.

Groomers might try to gain your trust by using a fake profile picture and by pretending to have similar interests as you. They might pretend to be your age and have similar interests to you.

People who try to groom children and young people want you to believe their lies so that they can get information about you:

• your age
• where you live
• who else might use the computer that you use or
• who else has access to your mobile phone

Once they have lots of information about you and have got your trust and friendship, they often move conversations towards sexual experiences and interests, even asking you to send sexual photographs or videos of yourself.

Some might move towards wanting to meet up, others might try to blackmail you by threatening to share any images/pictures or videos you might have sent them already with your friends and family, if you don’ t carry on doing what they ask you to do.

Online grooming may involve you:

• Being asked to chat about sex online
• Being asked to do sexual things on webcam
• Being asked to share naked or sexual pictures of yourself
• Being asked to look at, or watch pictures or videos of others doing sexual things
• Being exposed to online pornography
• Or being asked to watch the person you are speaking with do sexual things, such as exposing themselves
• Being asked to meet up face to face with the person you have been speaking to online.

Online grooming can happen to both boys and girls, of any age, whether you are gay or straight. No matter where you’ re from or what your cultural background is.

Signs to look out for and things to think about

• Secrets– If someone online asks you to keep secrets, think about why they would want you to do this? If it is because they don’ t want other people knowing about them being in contact with you, ask yourself why? Real friends wouldn’ t mind your parents /carers knowing that you are chatting to them.
• Attention & flattery - someone you don’ t know other than online, says lots of really nice things about you and how you look on your profile page. If someone starts doing this ask yourself – what do they really want?
• Sexy pictures– You might be told everyone does it, but ask yourself why do they really want a picture or film of me? What will they do with it? Will they share it with someone I don’ t know? Remember if you share a photo via the internet it can be shared with anyone without your knowledge or permission. If you are unsure don’t press send! Pictures and film can be used to threaten you and make you send more pictures or do other things that you are uncomfortable with. Don’ t share anything you wouldn’ t want your friends and family to see.
• Sexy talk– someone talking sexy or ‘ dirty’ with you; about what sexual things that they might like you to do, or that they might say they would like to do to or with you. Be careful if someone is very flirty with you or tries to get you to talk about sex or look at pornography – ask yourself, why are they doing this?
• Private chats– the person you have been talking to might ask you to start having private chat so that no-one else can see what you are talking about. If someone asks you to do this, ask yourself why do they need to talk privately with you?

1. Don’t post or give out personal information– such as your name, email, phone number, home address, and email address or school name – to people who you don’ t know in real life.
2. Never share images, send pictures or do anything on a webcam that you wouldn’ t want your family or friends to see.
3. When you share photographs online, including on profile pages, make sure that the location you are in can’t be identified. For instance make sure that the name of the road /house place you live at or local areas / landmarks and or car licence plates can’ t be seen by people you don’ t know.
4. Keep your online and phone privacy settings set to high. If you don’ t know how to do this ask an adult who you trust.
5. Don’t accept friend requests or chat to people who you don’t really know. Remember ‘ friends’ , who contact you, might not be who they say they are! People can use fake names, profiles and photos to make you think they are someone they’ re not.
6. Don’t agree to meet up with anyone who you have only spoken to online, and never meet someone in secret on your own, who you don’ t really know. If anyone suggests that you meet them, always tell your parent / carer, a teacher or an adult that you trust.
7. Remember to be careful about accepting e-mails, IM messages or opening files from people or names you don’t know or trust. These might contain viruses, pornographic images or nasty messages and might allow people you don’ t know to access your personal information
8. Make sure you know about the safety features on any networking site. Some, for example, have a ‘ panic button’ which you can press if you see something that shouldn't be there.
9. If you see something online that makes you feel uncomfortable or worried, or if someone asks you to do something that makes you feel the same, leave the website or stop the chat immediately and tell an adult you trust. This can be a parent, carer, relative, teacher, or you can contact any of the numbers below.

If you are under 18 and an explicit or nude image of you has been shared online, Childline can confidentially help you to get it removed, click here for more information

It’s always a really good idea to talk to someone that you trust like a parent / carer, family member, youth worker or teacher.

If you would like to talk to someone in confidence you can contact:

• Childline - You can call them free on 0800 1111 and this number won’ t appear on a telephone bill. Available 24 hours a day by phone or on the internet http://www.childline.org.uk/
• Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre the national site that looks after children and young people's online safety. Anyone can report any online activity or sites which make them feel uncomfortable or worried, or if they are worried about someone they are chatting to online.

 Other really good video and written information can be found at:

• Thinkuknow
• Childnet

Getting help in Wolverhampton

• Talk to an adult you know or trust such as a teacher a parent/carer or other relative, a family friend, a youth worker
• Multi-Agency Safeguarding Hub (MASH) if you are concerned for your safety because of anything that is happening online, you can call the Multi Agency Safeguarding Hub (MASH) on 01902 555392
• Police - In an emergency where a crime is in progress, or there is a danger to life, always call 999. You can also contact the police in a non-emergency 24hrs a day, 7 days a week, by calling 101.